Friday, December 26, 2008

These Dykes Look a Little Old for High School...

I promise I didn't make this up - Nightmare on Dyke Street is a porn movie from 1992, directed by Michael Morrison and starring Bianca Trump. A rather short movie, and including some moments I never thought I would witness in my lifetime, this movie is well worth checking out simply for the WTF?? factor.

First, to get this out of the way, in the spirit of Edward Penishands, which I have yet to see, Freddy in this film has long, thin, rubbery dildos for fingers (I assume he made them in his basement rubber mill), which are employed in most of the sex scenes. Weird, yes. But there are other, subtler moments that are even weirder.

1). Freddy never takes off his mask (which is so obviously just a mask, they clearly didn't bother to try and cover it up - bless the actor, though, for at one point holding the flapping neckline of the mask down - not very convincing, but I appreciated the effort). Yet, Freddy does change bodies - he is white in most of the scenes, but in one scene he inexplicably turns into a black man.

2). The first sex scene, in which Trump is dreaming and Freddy puts his special glove to use, is used twice, serving two different dream sequences. How very economical of them.

3). This is the weirdest part - the filmmakers apparently took the time to construct a fully functional Freddy-penis, burned like his face, and capable of ejaculating amounts of cum that I can only assume represent Freddy's abilities as a demon/paedophile. You don't see it attached to his body - it moves into frame from off-screen, just in time to spray demon seed all over our heroine. 

That's really all I have to recommend this film. There's really no plot to speak of - although the box tells me that the dykes of Dyke Street (coincidence?) have nightmares of hetero-sex. Basically, they built a movie around a super-cool dildo-glove, and I bought it. Mission accomplished, I'd say. And I know you all want to watch it too.

11 comments:

Johnny 666 said...

Looks great! You have re-sparked my interest in horror porn i have to say. I just received a disc with two porn versions of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, along with a Beaver and Buttcrack flick. Happy days.

Gore-Gore Girl said...

There are a lot of horror porn movies out there, I've come to realise - did you get The Texas Vibrator Massacre? Also, you have to see Porn of the Dead, if you haven't already. It's crazy.

Anonymous said...

Hi - I am really enjoying your blog. Since I love a parody porn, are you still going to review The Da Vinci Load? And do you have any thoughts on the recent rash of 70s TV parodies? I found Not The Bradys to be pretty good, This Ain't the Munsters to be even better and Not Bewitched to be excellent. Seems like the more that they make, the better that they are getting. I know they made a sequel to Not The Bradys and a parody of Gilligan's Island is supposed to be released next year.

Gore-Gore Girl said...

Thanks! I'm glad you enjoy the blog! Parodies are where it's at in terms of porn, in my opinion - academia is starting to catch on, and I've found two published articles on the subject written in the last couple of years (they're still not quite with the times though - one complained about the lack of romantic comedy porn movies...! Don't worry, I'm working to (try to) correct these oversights!).

Man, I forgot I was going to review The Da Vinci Load... sorry, been super busy! The Da Vinci Load 2 is in the mail to me as we speak, so I will be sure to review the both of them once I get it.

As for the TV parodies, I am also enjoying them immensely - I loved Not The Bradys, and I watched This Aint the Munsters, but was a little intoxicated, so don't remember much - but that's in the mail too, so I will revisit it.

I'm watching Not Bewitched tonight - can't wait! I will definitely post a review. I'm super excited Nina Hartley is in it - what a legend. Oh, and speaking of Hartley, I also watched Who's Nailin Pailin, which was pretty funny in its own way, but those fake boobs...my lord. There was a tad too much silicone in it for my tastes - I had to fast forward a good deal.

Johnny said...

I must see this! Have you seen Re-Penetrator? Might wanna seek that one out if ya haven't!

BigBee said...

The closest porn movie that I have ever seen to romantic comedy was Randy Spears in Love is Blue. Randy Spears plays Randy Spears trying to find true love, but the fact that he is a porn star keeps getting in the way.

Gore-Gore Girl said...

Wow - I will have to check our Re-Penetrator (I assume it's a parody of Re-Animator?).

As for romantic comedies, that Randy Spears movie sounds cool - especially as it's self-referential (a great subversive tool in porn). There are plenty of other romantic comedies also - lots of Stormy Daniels' movies are romantic comedies (I'm presenting an essay on them at a conference this year - we shall see how that goes!).

dragonmanes said...

Wow this blog certainly opened me up to a whole new level of awesomeness, never did I think I would see a porn ripoff of NoES, keep up the awesome finds triple G!

Gore-Gore Girl said...

Thanks Dragon! And thanks for the Triple G nickname - I like it. Expect more horror-porn parody posts, as I think that's what I'm writing my dissertation on.

The Bloody Pit of Horror said...

Sounds pretty, uh, interesting. There was also a porno Jason spoof called "Friday the 13th: A Nude Beginning" that might be worth a look. I doubt it has anything as cool as a dildo glove in it, though! Have you seen the 1984 Michael Jackson "Thriller" porn spoof called "Driller?" It has all kinds of weird stuff in it, including a mutant werewolf penis!

Gore-Gore Girl said...

Welcome! Wow, thank you for suggesting those two movies - I hadn't heard of the F13th porno - now I must see it! And I had heard of Driller, but only in passing last week, so thank you for reminding me.

I have to say, being a porn enthusiast is exhausting - there are *so* many freakin movies, not even counting the new releases. I need a higher paying job...

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