Yes, Zombie Diaries is fucking terrible. I put this picture of Zombie aka Zombi 2 aka Zombie Flesh Eaters up here to a) show you what a good zombie movie looks like, and b) show you what I gaze at in my living room every day as I sit on the couch.
Anyway, Zombie is great - Zombie Diaries...fuck you! I cannot believe how bad this movie is. And, if it wasn't bad enough, it is also annoyingly similar to Romero's Diary of the Dead in both content and title, to the point where I started writing this blog referring to Diary of the Dead.
I started watching this movie, excited and anticipating some kind of Cloverfield-esque zombie movie. Cool! No, not cool at all. Lots of bad acting, running around with a camcorder - and, by the way, apart from the first segment, there really isn't any clear reason why anyone is filming - and then an exasperatingly boring second half, finished off with a healthy dollop of shit, which, I'm sure, they like to call their "twist." I won't "ruin" the film for those of you who haven't seen it, but lets just say the film fairly quickly doesn't seem to focus on its subject matter. If there's one thing I hate, and I mean this sincerely, is a horror movie which feels that it is "above" a horror movie. As in, simply being a good horror movie is seemingly not intellectual enough, and they somehow have to lift the film above its murky genre.
To me, it really doesn't get any better than a damn good horror movie - intellectually, emotionally, everything-ally. I'm talking about the first time you saw Return of the Living Dead, with that grain of skepticism in your brain, because "most horror movies suck"; I'm talking about zombies fighting sharks; the gems that you pick up off the lower shelves of the Blockbuster with a shrug ("Eh, it might be ok") and then get home and find yourself watching someone getting cut in half vertically in the woods. Ok, doesn't sound too intellectual, but I guess that depends on what you mean by "intellectual." All I know is that I think a hell of a lot more deeply watching the Night of the Living Dead remake (as in, Tom Savini 1990) than I do watching Lions For Lambs or whatever "political drama" has come out this week.
And not just gore-art - a level of passionate commitment to their craft that I honestly don't see in other genres. I think back over my very favourite horror movies, and I honestly get a lump in my throat thinking about how clearly committed to the project those actors and directors were; a sincere love of the genre, and a belief in what they were doing.
So, in conclusion to my rant, Zombie Diaries - you fucking suck.
Ok - back to my doctoral exams...