Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Hardgore (1974)

Well folks, this is my final Halloween review, a little late because this one took so long in the mail. I think it was worth the wait, and to reward you for your patience I even grabbed my own (favourite) screen shots for your perusal. Some of the imagery just wouldn't have been done justice with mere verbal descriptions.

Maria (Dianne Galke), a nymphomaniac and masochist, is sent to Fox Hollows Sanitarium by her frankly very suspicious boyfriend. All seems well until spooky things start happening at night - things like Satanic orgies, orchestrated by the frequently-fellated Devil dude, that culminate in castration; her nurse showing up at her door with her throat slit; a replacement nurse getting a burning dildo stuck in her cooch; and the like.
However, Maria keeps finding herself waking up in bed as though nothing happened, with the doctor acting as though all is well and treatment should continue. Naturally, all is not well, and after Maria sneaks out of her room and overhears aforementioned shady boyfriend talking to the doctor about Maria's destiny (to be used in a Satanic orgy ritual, and then killed by guillotine) she tries to run away. Of course, she is promptly caught and taken to "the room" where, quite honestly, most of the cool stuff happens. I started getting antsy after around the 30-minute mark, but after seeing what was in "the room" I realised my $25 was money well spent.

Quite honestly, I bought this movie on the promise of levitating penises (peni?), and levitating penises I got.

Furthermore, having apparently intimidated our heroine - who is strung up against a blood-spattered wall, surrounded by dead women - simply by being floating/flying cocks, they proceed to unload copious amounts of cum onto her body. And I mean copious amounts - probably around two pints.

Just after this scene, the dead bodies come to life, and then we transition into the culminating Satanic orgy, featuring our Devil dude. The sex seems to suit Maria (she's a nympho, remember), but she's really not so keen on the "unhappy ending" involving a guillotine operated by a guy in a peephole white body suit (just like the one Johnny Keyes wears in Behind the Green Door). So, in the spirit of the Final Girl, she grabs the nearest battle axe, kills the Devil guy, and then buries it into the back of a fellow who was minding his own business fucking the feathers out of a duvet.

Awesome! Well, it would be awesome in pretty much any other movie, because this would signal the moment when the disciples scatter, and our heroine emerges bloodied and traumatized, but triumphant. Not so in this film. Apparently, these disciples are so dedicated that a random guy who was part of the orgy gets up and beats Maria to death with a skull. Then they stick a lit candle in her cooch, and leave her dead body there amongst the feathers. Not quite the ending I was expecting, and kudos for catching me off guard.

Overall, I believe this is one of those films that speaks for itself - I have not come away with any profound ideas, nor did I learn all that much (aside from my tolerance level when it comes to obnoxious soundtracks - apparently my tolerance level is quite high. I only FFwded once). However, I did see things I have never seen before, and there has to be something said for that. I also think there were several moments in this film that were inspired and subversive - this is definitely the closest to a true horror/porn hybrid that I've seen, and in this sense it succeeds at making elements of sexuality so gratuitous and exaggerated that they become "gore," as well as positioning sexuality as a source of danger, fear, and violence for all involved (but, of course, especially the women). This is one I'm probably going to ponder over for quite some time.


Baka said...

Looks good, i was looking after this movie before.

Roger Feelbert said...

Wow, that seems like a real doozy!

And here's a little tidbit for you and your readers:

You can pluralize "penis" as "penises" or "penes" (like "thesis/theses" or "axis/axes").

Not your fault, I know, but "peni" is one of my pet would only be correct if "penis" was spelled "penus."

(Consider my stupid rant over!)

Gore-Gore Girl said...

Yes, indeed, it is "penises" - my facetious parenthetical "peni" was a reference to the multiple different versions of such feigned-lack-of-knowledge-for-academic-amusement that I see so much of, of which "peni" is probably the most prevalent.

But, in fact, I wasn't entirely sure if "penises" was correct - I just knew "peni" wasn't.

Thanks for clearing that up for us - I now know that my cynicism was always justified!

Tower Farm said...



Gore-Gore Girl said...

Wow indeed. In fact,I believe that's exactly what I said aloud when the PENI came along with their rocket boosters.

CrazySexyMetalChick! said...

"Peni"--LOL!!! Awesome post! Sounds like an awesome movie!


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