Thursday, January 28, 2010

More Quickies...

NB: You will not be receiving an hour of free $30 games.

I'm back folks, after a little whiles away. School started, and it's royally kicking my ass, but I soldier on and watch as much XXX as I can fit in. This in turn means I stay up late a lot, am tired all day, and rarely have the gumption to settle down and write a coherent and cohesive article about some film or other. As a way of pacifying y'all until I review Wicked's 2040 (which the viewing of which will take a good 3 hours I believe), here is a meager handful of quickie reviews. It's barely even a handful, in fact...more like crumbs. Sorry.



Every Woman Has a Fantasy (Dir. Edwin Brown, 1984)
Over the last couple of months I've taken to going around saying "1984 is the greatest year in porn" mainly because I think it sounds ironic and pretentiously funny, but also because it seems to be true. Here is another film from 1984 that is bags of fun. John Leslie, in a typical dirty talking role, thrives on his wife's (lovely Rachel Ashley) stories retold from her women's group. Apparently these lady friends sit around and talk about recipes, sewing, and sexual fantasies. After getting off on the mere stories, John decides to hide out in a closet and listen for himself, and then when that still doesn't satiate him, he dresses like a woman and infiltrates the women's group. Yes, you're correct, it's like Tootsie, but John Leslie is much more attractive and convincing as a woman. I was quite impressed. And then very disappointed that he didn't fuck in drag.





Outlaw Ladies (Dir. Henri Pachard, 1981)
Pachard seems to specialize in scattered, character-filled romps, and Outlaw Ladies is no exception. Not quite as cohesive as She's So Fine but still a damn good time. It's basically a series of vignette-style segments, each demonstrating a woman's "outlaw" status - as in, she's tough, knows what she wants, and doesn't follow gendered societal expectations. You go girls! Oh, and you just can't beat that poster.
NB. This is not a Western (as I discovered, somewhat disappointedly).









Dark Angels (Dir. Nic Andrews, 1999)
This was a pleasant surprise, even after trusted and justifiably snobby porn colleagues of mine recommended it to me. I thought, "Oh, it'll be good... for a new movie..." Well, it is good for a new movie, but it's also just good. As a horror fan and a porn fan, I found both of my nerd-needs met through a heady combination of well-filmed/performed sex, tight narrative, dialogue, and acting, and a healthy dose of blood, gore, and...a fucking monster! Yes, this film has a super cool monstrous creature in it for about 30 seconds. It looked better than most Hollywood efforts, and I was struck by how much better it looked than a recent film I saw, Pandorum. Only downside is the beast does not perform sexually. Oh, and if ever there was a human being destined to play a boss vampire, it's Sydnee Steele. She rocks.



That's it. I warned you you'd just be getting crumbs. I'm watching Dark Angels 2 tonight, which I'm told is better than the first one; then on to 2040.

5 comments:

X-Ray Specs said...

I'm really enjoying these quickie reviews.

OOH! Dracula porn fest, you'll have to do a write up here for us internet porn nerds. You know me and Mrs X Ray loves us some vampires!

Gore-Gore Girl said...

I like the quickie reviews too - less pressure, and easier to write. I'll still do my more "scholarly" write-ups too though.

A shit ton of Dracula porn just came in today - I have a *lot* to get through. I figure I'll revisit Dracula Exotica (which I didn't like the first go around) and then plough through the rest of it.

Shame I can't seem to get my hands on any of the old gay Dracula movies. All out of print apparently. :(

obibong said...

I'm so glad you got around to Dark Angels and liked it (that's me recommending it back here). It has some odd sentimental value for me because it was a big part of my conversation with Sydnee when I finally got to meet her. I hope you like Dark Angels 2 more than I did.

And sometimes quickie reviews are just the right length, there's no need to apologize for that. You don't want your porn pursuits to feel like a chore. And anyway, as the Simpsons taught us, "Brevity is ... wit."

BlackSix said...

Every Woman and Outlaw Ladies are both fun pornos. I'm enjoying the quickies as well!

Gore-Gore Girl said...

Thanks Obi and Blacksix - I think at the going rate of my life, there will be more quickies...

Oh, and I started to watch Dark Angels 2 and didn't like it as much - I missed Sydnee and Jewel. I'll watch the rest of it some time soon. And I also watched Every Woman 2, which was fun. I will write that up soon.

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