Hi folks - I'm still stupidly busy, but watching lots of movies, particularly Dracula porn. I will hopefully be moving on to something more enthralling than the utter shit I have had to sit through of late. Proceed...
According to the DVD, this is a big production, and is the "apotheosis" of award-winning Salieri's career. Well, perhaps something got lost in the English dubbing, but lord, this was terrible. It was, however, hilarious, as the dubbing seemed to get more and more absurd, particularly during the sex scenes. I believe the dubbers were having a little too much fun doing voice over work for porn. I won't bother going into the plot, but Dracula is absent for the most part, and I think the movie was about 35 minutes long. A really strange experience.
The version I watched had Lust at First Bite as its title, which means I got the hardcore version, but also means all the biting was cut out. This rendered an already-not-very-good movie barely coherent. I had been warned that this film was really not very good at all, but with two of my favourite stars - Jamie Gillis and John Leslie - in lead roles as Dracula and Dr. Seward respectively, I really didn't think it could be this bad. But it's bad. Not Lust of Blackula bad, but there's-really-no-excuse bad.
Lust of Blackula (Dir. Barry Morrison, 1987)
Speak of the devil. Holy shit, this is unwatchable. It stayed on my TV screen for approximately 20 minutes, during which time I had managed to witness Blackula's inability to get wood while jerking off to his wife fucking some lady. He then stalks a couple about to fuck, peeping through their window, and all the while this is presented to you in grainy 80s video - we're talking low quality here. Really bad. I will try to watch it all the way through some day soon, and maybe I'll be able to report back that it gets better, and that our hero finally sports some wood.
Deep Throat: Part II (Dir. Joe Sarno, 1974)
Ok, enough of Dracula. I haven't finished watching Deep Throat: Part II yet, because I went in thinking it was hardcore, and then slowly realised that none of the sex scenes ever turned into sex scenes. Nothing against the film - it's great - but I'll save it for a softcore sex comedy night. The cool thing about this film is that it plays off of the Watergate scandal, with some pretty funny and zany results, as well as a typically over-the-top performance from Harry Reems, general awesomeness from Jamie Gillis (I love you Jamie), and fun and hi-jinks all around. If you like your sex comedies pop/meat-shot free, and with lots of fun and giggles, then this is for you.
Champion (Dir. Shine Louise Houston, 2009)
This is my first baby-dyke porn movie, and I was pretty excited going in, seeing as there don't seem to be that many lesbian-made features out there. This is the story of an MMA fighter who is threatened with being "outed" as a lesbian, and instructed by her agent to femme it up a bit. The plot doesn't figure into the movie too much though, and instead most of the time is taken up with some pretty rough and passionate fucking. It certainly felt different from most mainstream porn in terms of the director's vision and the audience "gaze," which I thoroughly enjoyed. However, the sex scenes did get a little bit repetitive and were too long for my tastes. I like a bit more plot. Still cool though.
Holy fuck - watching this film made me feel like the filmmakers had peered into my personal dreams and plucked this movie out. Jamie Gillis is hired by a man whose rich and sexually moralistic brother is dying - the man wants to disinherit the women of the family by having Jamie fuck all the women (who are naturally perverts), record it, and show it to the dying brother. John Leslie and Paul Thomas are hired by Jamie to help out with the technical side of things, while Jamie goes about doing what he does best. Awesomeness ensues. I loved this film. I never thought I would see a film where the central concept guarantees such a high quota of Jamie Gillis scenes, each one totally different from the last. Absolute wonderment.