Hi folks. Part 2 of my quickie reviews, before I get my teeth into some Feminist Porn in anticipation of the Feminist Porn Awards 2010 in Toronto. I'm going. Like, I have my tickets booked and everything. I even have a stack of freshly purchased, nominated films to watch and review during the build-up to this fine event.
Well, without further ado...
Lialeh (Dir. Barron Bercovichy, 1974)
This one is touted as the first black XXX film ever made, and also boasts a soundtrack and appearance from Bernard Purdie, who drummed and recorded with the likes of James Brown and Aretha Franklin. Crikey! So, I knew this film wouldn't be good, but I was informed the soundtrack would funk me up. I was right on the first count, and sadly wrong on the second. The movie is about Lialeh, a wannabe singer/performer who auditions for some guy, and is coached to be better...and I guess she's supposed to be good and sexy? She's not - she is a horrible singer, and a horrible dancer, and I simply couldn't stand it. The songs weren't even that good. In fact, the film left me pining for the quality songs heard in films such as The Devil in Miss Jones and The Opening of Misty Beethoven. I'm not angry I bought the movie, but I did turn it off before the end... Y'all can indulge in the theme song at the end of the show and decide for yourselves.
I adore Talk Dirty to Me and its unofficial sequel, Nothing to Hide. I like Talk Dirty to Me: Part 2, and I enjoyed Talk Dirty to Me: Part 4. It was always a source of pain, then, to know I could never see the Traci Lords starrer, Talk Dirty to Me Part III, where John Leslie falls in love with a mermaid. Part 4 had mermaids, sure, but it just isn't the same in a sequel. Well, cruising the adult DVD stores, I found this DVD (suspiciously priced at $3), and I got exactly what I paid for. Stay with me here, because it's hard to explain what I experienced. The producers of this film decided to refilm segments involving Lords, on cheap video no less, and insert them into the original film. Traci is now an aging Lisa deLeeuw, who spends practically the whole film sitting in a pool looking around in a confused manner, as we skip back and forth between her and the original film segments that she is "looking at" (I have surmised that the pool is on wheels). John Leslie appears at one minute in his prime, the next as a 40-something-year-old (I still love you John), and because the sound doesn't match, we are left with a lot of deLeeuw's lines silenced. I'm talking, entire pieces of her mouth moving, and all we can hear is a buzzing sound. The kicker comes when deLeeuw has a solo scene, during which the director and god-knows-who-else can be clearly heard throughout giving directions, and chit-chatting about shit they messed up. I kind of want to say this has to be seen to be believed (which is true), but the whole experience was strangely depressing. Avoid.
The Deviant (Dir. Nica Noelle, 2009)
I bought this one for a couple of reasons: 1) Nica Noelle is nominated for two films at this year's Feminist Porn Awards (not for this film though), and 2) It stars Manuel Ferrara in a feature. The man can talk! And not just whispering sexy sweet nothings in a woman's ear. ...and he can act, it turns out. I have never seen a Sweet Sinner movie before, and I was pleasantly surprised. I guess I was expecting soft sex, and very little plot, when in reality the sex was pretty hardcore, and there was a decent plot. Manuel is unhappy with his marriage to Kylie Ireland, suspicious that she is cheating, and asks his friend, Mr. Pete, to seduce her. It's hard to tell at first whether or not Manuel is justified in his suspicions or whether he's just a douche, but things become clear with time. If there was one thing I could change about the movie, it would be the sound quality - it seems that no mics are used in this film, which is a shame. Cheap sound can make a film not feel like a film, and it certainly took me out of the moment. Still, I'm looking forward to the next couple of movies by Nica. I'll report back soon. Oh! And Manuel is super-fucking-fine, as usual.
Memoirs of a Chambermaid (Dir. Eric Edwards, 1987)
There's something about this DVD cover that's very appealing, dontcha think? It's the man-ass, which is always welcome, in my opinion. More than that though, it just looks kinda quaint. The movie is actually pretty quaint, and I liked it in spite of the fact that it's shot on video in the 80s (usually a very bad sign). The script and concept is cool though: a writer moves into an old Victorian house to focus on her work, but has writer's block. After being told the house is haunted by the estate agent, she discovers an old diary, written by a Victorian woman (naturally, it's about her forbidden love for some blonde dude) and starts having "hallucinations" of the people written about in the diary. She talks to them, diddles over them, everything. Nice concept, as I said, but the key problem with this feature is the fact that the blonde dude is in practically every scene, to the point where I started FFing out of frustration. Now, if it was John Leslie, that would be one thing, but I've never heard of this Brandon fella, and quite frankly he ain't floating my boat. Still, it's not terrible, and if you happen to have the chance to watch it, check it out.
Oh, and here's your [i]Lialeh[/i] theme - this is the opening to the film, and it gets shown again in its entirety later in the film. And that lady is not Lialeh. I only wish it were... Enjoy getting its lameness stuck in your head...