Saturday, July 21, 2012

Porno Runway: My Favourite XXX Fashions

To celebrate the return of my favourite television show, Project Runway, I present to you my favourite fashion statements in XXX cinema. This is not some kind of ironic, "laugh at the silly 70s porno fashions" celebration, but a sincere nod to the many "wow moments," as Tim Gunn would put it, that I have discovered in my porn watching career. True fashion statements, often worn by performers (such as Eric Edwards and Jesie St. James) who seem to have made an x-rated career out of making it work. I must note, however, that one of my very favourites is absent from the list below: Wade Nichols' wonderful shirt and slacks in Take Off (1978). The person I loaned my DVD to has not yet returned it. :( I can picture it though, and trust me, it is magnificent.

First up, perhaps the most iconic outfit in porn history, Johnnie Keyes' white peephole jump suit. First worn in the 1972 classic, Behind the Green Door, this costume is homaged in 1977's Sex World (pictured), 1981's The Seven Seductions (worn by Annette Haven no less), and to an extent in 1973's Resurrection of Eve (Keyes wears the necklace in one of the scenes - see below). Legendary and awesome.

Speaking of Resurrection of Eve, Keyes can't hold a candle to the many, many gob-smacking fashions worn by Matthew Armon, as DJ Frank Paradise. It's this Davy Crockett coat (yes, it has a raccoon tail hanging off the back of the collar!) that lingers in the memory, yet I really could have plucked any of the several epic outfits he dons. However, Frank has a habit of overdoing it, and some of these looks border on horror.

Like this shirt and pants combo he wears while musing over his white male anxiety...

 outfit that really needs to be seen from the back.

 Marilyn Chambers also starred in Resurrection and while her clothes are awesome in that film, it's Insatiable (1980) that stands out in my mind thanks to this knotted yellow Ferrari shirt and ultra-skint-tight black pants (with a chain, naturally) which she wears while taking advantage of Richard Pacheco during her kick-ass drive around the countryside. Damn cool.

 I mentioned Eric Edwards above, and I want to make a claim: Eric Edwards is the best tailored porn star ever. Really. Every movie, he is just so sharp, so charming and dapper. This blue suit, with lavender shirt and tie from The Private Afternoons of Pamela Mann, is a particular favourite of mine.

Jesie St. James is the female fashion counterpart to Edwards, in my humble opinion. She mixes sportswear and gowns like it's nothing, and carries off both looks with her muscular, yet elegant, figure. She's a true class act. Like Edwards, I could have picked from many movies, but it's this jogging outfit, with red striped tube socks, from the opening scene of Anthony Spinelli's Easy that goes down as my very favourite.

Finally, of course there is Jack Wrangler, the man who made a deal to have someone provide his clothing in return for a film credit. Without a doubt, my favourite of his looks is this audacious yet somehow slick pairing of black leather pants and half-unzipped yellow/black leather jacket with no shirt from A Night at the Adonis. This outfit features in the trailer, and this may sound like hyperbole, but it sealed the deal on my buying the film. I kid you not.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Porn on the Fourth of July

For this year's celebration of the United States day of independence from my homeland, why not delve into some XXX that provides a taste of Americana? Now, I could simply list all the "4th of July" themed/named porno flicks out there, but instead I'm providing a list of movies that offer up a complex cross-section of American culture, through the lens of one of its most defining media forms.

Enjoy! And feel free to name your own suggestions in the comments.

Taboo: American Style 1-4 (1985)

Henri Pachard's four part XXX miniseries provides a glimpse into the perversions of the upper middle class American psyche, revealing a rather large quantity of family troubles, incest, and blackmail/emotional manipulation. Sparkling dialogue and performances, this series belongs squarely to the magnificent Raven, who is so fantastically evil and conniving, you cannot look away (not that you'd want to). 

Operation Desert Stormy (2007)

Perhaps the most recent American wars are not as glamorous or popular as the nostalgia for the American Revolution, but American Sweetheart, writer, director, star Stormy Daniels' satirical take on the Gulf War(s) is a blast, and easily Daniels' crowning achievement (so far). Daniels is an administrative assistant who, along with her husband (Steven St Croix) and a couple of buffoonish British agents, must defeat evil terrorist Hussein and save the world. Shenanigans ensue.

Honorable Discharge (1993) 

Commemorate our LGBTQ military history with this award-winning flick, in which director Jerry Douglas explores straight guys who fuck men in the Marines, a phenomenon he himself could not understand and thus made a movie about it. As Douglas put it, "I never understood why. This is my thought on it: The Marines are the most macho American image in existence, and if you have any doubts about your sexuality, that's where you go to prove you're a man."

Debbie Does New Orleans (1999)

Forget Dallas, though that is undoubtedly the most iconic city Debbie has done. The Big Easy is the great American city, representative of so much that is unique and special about U.S. culture. In this kooky installment, Debbie heads off to Saints territory, but is kidnapped by sex fiends and is carted off to a swamp-set sex club where she must perform on stage in order to save her fiancee from being raped. Yes, you read that right. An odd movie, well worth watching, especially if you are a New Orleanian.

The Spirit of Seventy-Sex (1976)

I couldn't not list this: a Revolution era porn flick, made in 1976? It's hard to resist. Essentially a vignette film, Seventy-Sex takes you through a series of fully-costumed historical sequences, telling the real story of the founding fathers. Spoiler alert: they were perverts.


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